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Jacko from Wello Point QLD tackles expecting after a loss

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A Guest Post by Jacko.

Jacko here from Wellington (Wello) Point, Brisbane.

The Mrs and I are expecting in 4 short weeks, after experiencing 2 devastating losses. Just thought I would send through a few notes on the emotional roller coaster ride, that is “Expecting after Loss”.

We have a gorgeous 5 year old girl (aka – Rabbit) going on about 12 and 4 Tropical Fish which became 2 a few days ago for unknown reasons – Autopsy to follow! Had to explain to Rabbit that we took the fish to the “Fish Hospital” because they were sick and we will pick them up in a few days. Unfortunately the “Fish Hospital” charges about $40 each to “make them better”.

We also unfortunately have experienced 2 losses in recent years. My wife “Lizzy” delivered ~Emily~ on 12.09.09 at 26 weeks + 6 days gestation which was devastating. It felt like someone had ripped our hearts out. Our lives were completely turned on end and for months we cried ourselves to sleep.

So then when we finally had the courage to give it another crack it was Déjà vu. We couldn’t believe it. Obviously we had done something very wrong and we were being punished in the cruelest way possible. Thoughts like those keep going through our minds repetitively. Lizzy gave birth to ~Timothy~ on 02.04.11 coincidently at 26 weeks + 6 days. I thought to myself it would be easier 2nd time round because we had already been through it and knew what to expect. But, in fact it was the opposite, it was so much harder. Everything seem to compound both losses into one. Jacko found himself having Lizzy in his arms outside the Farewell Service completely hysterical and falling on the concrete. Tough Tough times!!

But thanks to Pregnancy Loss Australia and some very good friends (Mexicans) Chubba, Wife A, Kid X and Ernie, it makes it just that little bit easier when you can talk to someone who has had the same unfortunate experience. They really do completely understand us and what we talk about.

Eight short months later we brought up the dreaded discussion of “Trying again?” It was one of the most difficult discussions and decisions I have ever made, however we both wanted it so badly. We’re back on the horse again! Lizzy was preggas again in a matter of weeks.

After going through 2 losses, this pregnancy has been a challenge. It has been emotionally draining at the very least. We lay there night after night stressed out of our minds thinking “What if it happens again?” We are so use to not sleeping, that we get up in the mornings and don’t feel tired, however by mid afternoon we feel like Zombies.

Luckily for us there is only 4 weeks to go and everything so far (touch wood) has gone perfectly with “Bert” who is due on October 3. Lizzy is waddling around the house doing far too much (Nesting) as usual which is both comical and frustrating. Comical because she moves stuff from Place A to Place B only to move it back to Place A the very next day, and Frustrating because she shouldn’t be re potting 40kg pot plants and then moving them 10 meters into place. Grrrr!!

So that is where we are up to in the Sunshine State. The only other item to mention at present is that we haven’t had a drop of rain up here for about 8 weeks. Everything is far too dry!! Ohh yeah, and the temps are about 10 – 14 degrees overnight which is far too cold for us Queenslanders with the odd morning getting down to 6 degrees, but it is starting to warm up nicely during the day to about 25 degrees. Spring has sprung and the storm season and summer won’t be too far away.

More to follow when Bert makes his/her entrance!

Go the Hawks and the Cowboys in September.

Cheers,

Jacko.

Bucky and Chubba want to welcome Jacko to the friends of tacklenappy. We hope you enjoyed this post and are both interested to know how a Queenslander can like the hawks, in fact we want to know how anyone can like the hawks?

Last modified on Wednesday, 05 December 2012 11:22

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