Print this page

Onesies give me the number twosies Featured

Rate this item
(1 Vote)

I thought it was time to outline the new trend in clothes that I don't like.

Onesies are ridiculous. Anyone with an infant or toddler would know that onesies serve a purpose, they keep a baby warm and are practical for a quick change of nappy in those very cold early mornings of winter. They were not designed to be worn by adults. Here’s the thing, adults don’t generally wear nappies. No they don’t, and if they do you have some serious issues and probably should move to Depends as these are slightly more appropriate for your age.

Then you have another issue- that as a toilet trained person you have to work out how to disrobe the onesie to go to the potty, umm toilet. Ahhh I am getting frustrated even thinking about it. Pulling the press studs apart or, in the case of the onesie I saw today, moving the back flap over your legs so you can pee, terrible.

Maybe if you get one of these beauties from a partner they are telling you one thing and one thing only, “I don’t find you sexually attractive anymore and I am giving you this to keep you warm whilst I sleep on the couch by myself”. Because if you get into bed with one of these onesies on you are not going anywhere near baby production mode. In fact I would suggest if a dad gets one of these don’t worry about getting that vasectomy ‘cause you’ve been officially subbed out, at least until summer when you can resume normal pj wearing protocols.

But maybe I’m missing something apparently they sell out as soon as they get to the stores. Hey I have never been a fashionista and my wife generally picks out my clothes.

Next on my list is of clothes I don't like is a bear suit, with a hood and little ears. The kind us parents take great joy in photographing our babies in. This is certainly not for adult consumption, although I could understand that if you got this one from your husband or wife you may be in for a good time, this at least can be put down to some weird fetish. “Oh what’s that, you have a dress up in a bear suit fetish, why haven’t you told me this before”.

 

 

Last modified on Friday, 10 May 2013 19:36

12 comments