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Onesies give me the number twosies Featured

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I thought it was time to outline the new trend in clothes that I don't like.

Onesies are ridiculous. Anyone with an infant or toddler would know that onesies serve a purpose, they keep a baby warm and are practical for a quick change of nappy in those very cold early mornings of winter. They were not designed to be worn by adults. Here’s the thing, adults don’t generally wear nappies. No they don’t, and if they do you have some serious issues and probably should move to Depends as these are slightly more appropriate for your age.

Then you have another issue- that as a toilet trained person you have to work out how to disrobe the onesie to go to the potty, umm toilet. Ahhh I am getting frustrated even thinking about it. Pulling the press studs apart or, in the case of the onesie I saw today, moving the back flap over your legs so you can pee, terrible.

Maybe if you get one of these beauties from a partner they are telling you one thing and one thing only, “I don’t find you sexually attractive anymore and I am giving you this to keep you warm whilst I sleep on the couch by myself”. Because if you get into bed with one of these onesies on you are not going anywhere near baby production mode. In fact I would suggest if a dad gets one of these don’t worry about getting that vasectomy ‘cause you’ve been officially subbed out, at least until summer when you can resume normal pj wearing protocols.

But maybe I’m missing something apparently they sell out as soon as they get to the stores. Hey I have never been a fashionista and my wife generally picks out my clothes.

Next on my list is of clothes I don't like is a bear suit, with a hood and little ears. The kind us parents take great joy in photographing our babies in. This is certainly not for adult consumption, although I could understand that if you got this one from your husband or wife you may be in for a good time, this at least can be put down to some weird fetish. “Oh what’s that, you have a dress up in a bear suit fetish, why haven’t you told me this before”.



Last modified on Friday, 10 May 2013 19:36


  • Comment Link Martine@themodernparent Thursday, 02 May 2013 23:06 posted by Martine@themodernparent

    Yep....something way to creepy about adults wearing a cutoff is usually 2 years of age!

  • Comment Link Sarah @ SlapdashMama Thursday, 02 May 2013 16:24 posted by Sarah @ SlapdashMama

    I agree! Usually I am all like "wear what you want dudes" but frankly the onesie is a bridge too far. On a baby if course it is delightful. On an adult, dubious. Highly dubious!!!!

  • Comment Link Robomum Thursday, 02 May 2013 13:42 posted by Robomum

    I'm sure you and I have discussed this before. Onesies, uh no... If I saw man in a onesie I think I'd lose it. Overgrown baby much?
    Thanks for linking with The Lounge!

  • Comment Link Ness Thursday, 02 May 2013 12:32 posted by Ness

    Onesies may be acceptable for adult sleep wear, but not day wear. At least they would be very affective as contraception, if nothing else.

  • Comment Link Tegan Thursday, 02 May 2013 09:59 posted by Tegan

    My brother wanted a onsie..I am just glad that he could never find one that would fit his giant size 11 feet in.
    Thanks for linking up with The Lounge.

  • Comment Link Tegan Thursday, 02 May 2013 09:58 posted by Tegan

    My brother wanted a onsie..I am just glad that he could never find one that would fit his giant size 11 feet in.
    Thanks for linking up with The Lounge.

  • Comment Link Kim@fallingfacefirst Thursday, 02 May 2013 09:36 posted by Kim@fallingfacefirst

    OMG that POOR model. Onesies should be sold by Durex. The ULTIMATE contraception. :)

  • Comment Link Rachel_The VI Blog Thursday, 02 May 2013 09:30 posted by Rachel_The VI Blog

    Oh god I just pissed myself laughing! I too am morraly against the use of onesies by adults - just way too creepy if you ask me.

    Also it reminds me of a freaky documentary I saw on SBS once about "Adult Babies" - people who actually get off on dressing up as babies and having their nappies changed etc. I'm all in favour of "anything goes" between consenting adults but that makes me cringe. Bleauurrghhh. And I BET they've all got onesies too!

  • Comment Link Rachel Thursday, 02 May 2013 09:23 posted by Rachel

    Oh god this just made me piss myself laughing! I too am morally against the use of onesies by adults - it's just tooooo creepy in my opinion. Puts me in mind of a doco about "Adult Babies" I saw once on SBS, which is a full blown fetish. I'm a big believer in what ever floats your boat but it makes me cringe Bleurghh!!!

  • Comment Link Michelle Wednesday, 01 May 2013 13:13 posted by Michelle

    Tee hee- that bear suit was a tad surprising ;)


  • Comment Link Kassey Wednesday, 01 May 2013 09:54 posted by Kassey

    It was last winter after junior was born that we thought about getting onesies for us. Though it never eventuated perhaps it was a post baby 'no more baby making for a bit' sign.

  • Comment Link Karen Reid Tuesday, 30 April 2013 20:56 posted by Karen Reid

    Bahahaha but onesies are soo comfy. Although considering I have just separated from my husband (might be a connection there) I'm probably not the best judge


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