Thursday, Sep 23rd 2021

Tacklenappy

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A giant back pack, 36 degrees, 100,000 people and a thing called Moomba

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Today it’s bloody hot and uncomfortable. The kids are whinging, the parents are whinging, the pets are whinging, and in fact everyone is. So what does a family of whingers do for entertainment? Go out to a massive public event and cook in the hot sun, of course. This should give us enough whinging ammo to last until the end of this March record breaking hot spell.

I love Moomba, correction childhood Chubba loves Moomba, it always brings up nice memories of my childhood, watching the parade, the water-skiing and of course the birdman and bathtub events too. Every year since I stopped going to Moomba with my parents I have gotten a little bit more sentimental.

Memories are always gilded with the nice stuff, as my mum used to say you never remember how bad the labour was until your next child starts the journey down the passage of life. Of course Moomba and labour really don’t have much in common although in both instances you have total strangers invading your personal space. My memory system always blanks out the 300 thousand plus crowds, the hot March weather, walking for miles etc. and its not until I get there that I remember just how hectic the event can be.

We pilled all of the family into the car, arrived at the city car park and I tried out the newest eBay purchase. It’s a full-on backpack baby carrier. We shoved Ernie in it and he seemed to like it, in fact I think he loved it. The only thing I don’t like is it is a Kiwi carrier and Ernie is an aussie . This contraption saved us having to push the pram around; this helped no end in the big crowds, although my shoulders are suffering a bit now I am home.

Our destination was the parade and it was just like I remember it, yes exactly like I remember it. In fact I think it was the exact same parade I saw when I was a kid. The only differences were the new route down St Kilda Road and the introduction of 6 kings and queens of Moomba.

I say bring back the one populous celebrity as King or Queen. Having local heroes that contribute to the community as monarchs only serve to make us feel bad about how lazy us normal people are. I mean when Darryl Summers won it, we all thought yeah, that bloke only works on Saturday nights I want to live like that too. Having a celebrity gave us someone we could emulate.

Kid X loved the parade, well the 45 minutes we were there before she lay on the ground saying how tired she was and we decided to go back to the city to go shopping. Of course it was good, but it was hot too hot to really get into the parade. Some of the performers struggled with intensity and passion but overall it was a pass.

Ernie wasn’t fazed at all. In fact I think he liked it, until he fell asleep and drooled on my head. Overall it was a good day, with just enough chaos to keep any family of whingers satisfied.

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