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The Big V - Just say no

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This weekend I asked Tacklenappy’s very loyal and incredibly intelligent readers to help me out of my blogger’s block and suggest topics for a blog post. Thanks to Judith Walsh for asking for a post that outlines a blokes view on the big V, specifically from the perspective of a guy who doesn’t want one.

I want to name this thing but I just can’t, that’s how little interest I have in getting one. For starters I am afraid of pain. My (insert own term for Penis) does not like pain either. I know this ‘cause once it copped a knee to it playing footy and let’s just say it didn’t talk to me for a couple of weeks. I don’t know about any of you, but the idea of an injection in this area is only acceptable if you are a professional footballer visiting their favourite sports scientist. If you have a syringe and come anywhere near my little (big) friend my legs will uncontrollably kick you repeatedly.

I have heard it doesn’t really hurt, well I am always sceptical of “doesn’t really hurt”. It either does or it doesn’t, that phrase has and will never fill me with confidence.

So the pain part is scary, but that is not the only concern, the other is the fact that you are officially putting the cue in the rack or on the rack (back to the pain again). It is an awful thought that if I wanted to make another little chubba… umm poor choice of words I meant little baby, I couldn’t. Sure the idea of going back to the well does seem remote given I have 2 young children but that doesn’t mean that at some stage another kid may be a consideration. Then it’s more pain and tricky to reverse the big V.

So no I don’t want one of these big V’s, I would rather keep my manhood for a while longer. Not saying those blokes that have had one before are less manly, although I have seen the effect of desexing the alpha dog or big tom cat and let’s just say they are never the same again.  

I know what you are all thinking this guy is selfish and why should birth control be the responsibility of poor wife A. Well birth control has been and will be for a few more years the domain of Kid X and Ernie. Have any of you ever tried anything with 2 young children. You have and how successful was it?

3 comments

  • Comment Link Judith Sunday, 17 February 2013 22:00 posted by Judith

    Don't do it! It's not just about pain or periods or any of that stuff! As the second wife of a man who never wanted one but had it to keep the peace, I can tell you that it was bloody inconvenient. Sperm antibodies made a mockery of the expensive but otherwise successful vasectomy reversal. IVF was our only option. Thank god we were lucky on that front but i know others who weren't and guess what? The first wives were back on The Pill because the new guys hadn't had the V job... Really, girls, if you are adamant about not wanting any more babies get your tubes tied! It's done with minimal interfance nowadays.

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  • Comment Link Chubba Sunday, 10 February 2013 21:45 posted by Chubba

    Yes, Yes I am! Guilty as charged.

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  • Comment Link Laila Sunday, 10 February 2013 21:27 posted by Laila

    and being pregnant, having periods, paying for food, clothes, medical, housing, school, child care and uni is not painful at all????
    not to mention the actual giving birth thing....
    sorry, but you are a whooooose in the biggest sense.

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