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Meal Wars

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As with most wars, no one wants it and no one wins, it’s just happens and both sides just waste energy and resources fighting it until either there is a surrender or peace negotiation.

This last week has seen the start of a bitter conflict between the countries of Toddlerland and Parenthood. It all started when Toddlerland refused to eat their breakfast by themselves. Despite the best efforts of the Island of Daddy in trying to negotiate a peaceful solution to the breakfast issue, it quickly escalated as all alternative suggestions were refused. Then  Great Mummy threatened to exile Toddlerland to the naughty corner.

From there Toddlerland officially declared war, as scream bombs and cluster tears were fired out at Great Mummy and the Island of Daddy. The island of Daddy retreated and slunk off to work and left Great Mummy to finish of the battle. According to Great Mummy’s news reports it was a big battle with many more scream bombs, 3 trips to the naughty corner then finally a peace negotiation. This meant that Toddlerland ate most of their breakfast unassisted and peace was restored until lunchtime.

Parenthood has gained intelligence and understands that Toddlerland may be unhappy with the fact that the newly established Republic of Waking Up All Night and Teething is getting feeding assistance and Toddlerland is not. Unfortunately Parenthood does not have the resources to assist Toddlerland to eat their meals, which by the way is something Toddlerland was quite happy to do by themselves two weeks ago.

Parenthood has discussed what to do and both Great Mummy and the Island of Daddy decided to “fight them on the benches, fight them on small table, we will put them in the naughty corner and we will never surrender”.   

Many similar battles have ensued over breakfast with pieces of cutlery flying on the floor, several Toddlerland self imposed exiles to the naughty corner and of course scream bombs that will clear the kitchen of all the poor innocent pets. Of course as expected the war has spread to all meals and no one is sure what kind of militancy we will experience for any meal. The Island of Daddy tries to distract Toddlerland as does Great Mummy but this has mixed results. They have even tried giving bigger spoons, games etc. The only time there is a lull in the conflict is when desert is served.

This war looks like it might be raging for many more meals and Parenthood are looking for allies to assist with ideas on how to combat Toddlerhood and win and restore peace to our normally quiet hamlet. 


  • Comment Link Chubba Monday, 21 January 2013 22:07 posted by Chubba

    Thanks Jo, I have tried everything including ignoring and bribery without much success. I haven't heard the broken arms excuse yet but I think its coming soon.

  • Comment Link Jo (down to earth mother) Monday, 21 January 2013 22:01 posted by Jo (down to earth mother)

    This is hilarious and it completely describes the cold war that is my dinner table at the moment. Next time I hear "feed me, Mummy, my arms are broken" I will think of this post and with laugh or blow someone up, thank you.


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