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Sunday Night Confessional (Warning Adults only - Some strong language)

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It’s been 9 days since my last confession, opps I forgot where I was for a second there. Today’s article does have an air of a confessional about it.

For starters there was asking Kid X for a horse number and then placing a bet on my internet betting account for her. Not sure what is going to get me kicked out of the good parents club quicker, placing a bet for a child (which I never actually did if anyone from child welfare is reading this) or actually having an internet betting account. I feel quite “boganny” even at the thought of actually having an internet account, but somehow some time ago I set one up. I might as well put me mochas on and light up a winnie blue. I tipped the winner by the way, I swear everyone at our house misheard Kid X except for me, she said number 4 not number 14. I picked 14, hey she can’t even count to 14 so there.

Then there was the “Fucking Cat” incident. Today Kid X was running around playing with our cat Neita, no name change there that’s its actual name (named after Melbourne Footy Club champion David Neitz). Wife A and myself had an agreement, I got to name our cat, she got to name our Children.

Anyway back to the “Fucking Cat” incident. Kid X was running after the cat, yelling “Fucking Cat”, “Fucking Cat”. Guilty as charged, I have used this phrase obviously too many times. Fuck I have been careful not to swear but shit It’s fucking hard, especially when you have little or no sleep for weeks on end and a screaming baby, a screaming toddler and a screaming wife and your tired, hungry, pissed off with life and all you want is peace and fucking quiet and the “Fucking Cat” keeps on meowing for no reason other than to join in the chorus. I think you get the gist, but today was the proof that I had sworn once too often. Hopefully she doesn’t refer to our neighbours dog like I have been lately, I am not sure they will see the cuteness of it like I would.

Wife A had to very straight faced ask Kid X to refer to the cat by its correct name “Stupid fucking cat”, no “Neita”. I love cats by the way just in case you were wondering or in fact still reading.

Oh and then there was the other incident that happened when we were over in Perth. Sister in law T had kindly brought us a Pram to use when we visited.  Ok this is where I say it gets worse, on our final day in Perth I loaded the kids in the car after a trip to Kings Park and started reversing. I heard a crunching noise, stopped the car and thought what (what the heck I have been swearing all through this article so why stop now) the fuck was that? Then you guessed it I didn’t bother getting out and checking I started to reverse again. What an idiot, the noise got louder this time. So I jumped out of the car to see what was causing the noise and it was the pram which sadly was minus one wheel. I had ran over the pram. What a total “fucking cat” I mean “idiot”. Yes folks I am stupid and I vote.

1 Comment

  • Comment Link Rachel Cooper Thursday, 15 November 2012 21:21 posted by Rachel Cooper

    Gold!

    Would like to say that the language is perfect in our house...but it's not!

    Report

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