Saturday, Aug 13th 2022


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I hate washing bottles

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As poor Wife A struggles through the last trimester (sounds like a bizarre gymnastic move) it has finally dawned on me that we are about to have a baby. Yes I know, it’s a revelation to me too.

I guess it’s been easy for me to pass over the thought of the pending arrival as something that is happening sometime into the distant future.

No it’s happening now, only 8 weeks to go and well as I said before I am not ready. I am not ready for the lack of sleep, washing the 8 million baby clothes and towels and did I mention cleaning the bottles.  Why isn’t there a better way of washing bottles than having to hand wash them.  Oh I almost forgot that stupid pregnancy pillow I have to contend with at night time. Whoever decided to make a pillow that is 6 feet long is beyond me, it cuts into my half of the bed. Arrggghhhh.

As I live in this world of self-doubt and self-pity, I think about my poor Wife A. She is already struggling, not sleeping already, tired beyond belief already, changing enormous amounts of nappies already and washing more clothes than an ancient washerwoman on the banks of the Ganges. All that plus having to entertain a toddler that is going through the tantrum phase.  Also having to consistently fight with Husband C for room for her pillow in the bed Arrrggghhhh.

Then for the first time in 2 years Wife A is going to the toilet more times than me. Needing to pea every 5 minutes is at least one element of pregnancy we can share.

She also says she is breathless and that’s not because I am sitting on the couch writing this blog with my guts poking out of my pyjamas. Yes I am writing this blog in my pyjamas, it could be worse I could be in a snuggie.

Then there is the obviously weird sensation of having something wriggling around in your belly. I have had a couple too many beers on occasion and the stomach has been churning, but I am not sure this compares. (Should I edit this bit out for my own safety). I like to think it does compare.

Ok I will concede that having churned guts from too many beers probably is underselling pregnancy a little. Also I have felt the baby several times and well Baby Y is quite solid, so an elbow or kick to the kidneys, bladder, intestines has gotta really hurt. Can’t say I have ever experienced that sensation. I am glad beer doesn’t do anything like that to you.  

Despite all the changes and continuous pathetic self-pitying, I only have to remember what it is like when you first meet the new bub to know it’s all worth it. I guess it’s time for me to start preparing myself for the new baby, 9 months just goes far too quick.    

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