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No No No Go Away Daddy

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Of all the dads diaries I have written, I think it’s time to get your insight into a new phase of the dad toddler relationship.

The last week or so I have noticed that Kid X has become little Miss Contrary especially towards me. Everything I seem to ask her do and sometimes tell her to do, is meet with a “No” or a “Go Away”. Everything is potentially on the “no” table, from do you want some rice bubbles through to one of my favourite things the welcome home cuddle. No No No! I was even told the other morning to “Go to work daddy”.

Compounding this problem is Kid X’s increased attachment to her mum. Sometimes I ask Kid X a question and she replies “NO mum do it”. From there it’s a quick spiral down to a fully blown tantrum. This is so difficult because I want to do things for Kid X, I want to get her ready for bed, I want to dress her for crèche, I want to change her (ok I am not fussed about not be required to do this one) but you get the general idea. Wife A is 19 weeks pregnant and it is so frustrating not to be able to do the things I could do a couple of weeks ago.

Of course Kid X and I still have fun and play a lot together, but at the start and end of the day when she is tired it seems to get worse.

I am at a bit of a loose end on how to deal with this and hope some of our readers can help out with some suggestions. Of course feel free to say No or go away I am getting used to it.


  • Comment Link Chubba Monday, 27 February 2012 19:15 posted by Chubba

    Hi Guys,
    Thanks for all the support and great advice. I am glad to know it happens to other dads too.


  • Comment Link Mj Monday, 27 February 2012 08:57 posted by Mj

    As a mum, I have the, "
    NO, I want mum to do it" all the time and from two little ones. It is tiring.... I' m with you chubba, I would love for the cherubs to want dad to do things too. I try to play the I dependence card whenever it's safe to do so..... Good luck!

  • Comment Link James Cahill Friday, 24 February 2012 23:19 posted by James Cahill

    My Nephew went through the same thing with his Dad, but it has only lasted a few months. very much a phase. Children are always testing the boundaries, they want to know where they stand and they'll feel safe within those boundaries. Just stick with it and don't take it personally. I'm sure your wife didn't take it personally that for the first 2months all kid X did was scream when she was hungry and sleep, no smiles or anything. Kids don't have communication down pat just yet.

  • Comment Link Lee Jamieson Thursday, 23 February 2012 22:37 posted by Lee Jamieson

    Hey Chubba,

    I feel your pain. As Dad to 5 (+3 at the moment), I had similar issues with both my girls and boys. How old is Kid X? It's most probably a "phase" - I know that sounds trite, but in reality, that's all it is. She will get over it (eventually) but from what you've said, you are doing the right thing. Just keep persevering with what you are doing and keep your sense of humour intact :)

  • Comment Link Marty Thursday, 23 February 2012 22:17 posted by Marty

    I think kid X is noticing the changes and is simply trying her best to remain in Mum's attention stream, give her time she should come around. The more you fuss the more she'll play on it ( typically female ). Maybe suggest that she's helping mum by letting you do things??


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