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Crafty Little Demons Featured

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It's official, my kids are not only more attractive than I, they're a whole lot smarter....or is that a whole lot more cunning? Those who know me personally are undoubtedly thinking "No shit Sherlock" but not even they realize just how conniving my little chickadees can be.

Whilst I'm specifically referring to their bedtime delay tactics in this article, believe me when I tell you these crafty little demons apply their trade in many areas.

The ideal kids bedtime routine in the Bucky household looks like this – kids dinnered, bathed and in pyjamas by 6:30. Warm milk and books done and dusted by 7:30. Then it's time to brush teeth (using Nurdle Time of course) followed by bedtime for 4yo Foghorn, whilst 8yo Bookworm gets another half hour, hitting the fart sack by 8pm.

We're normally pretty good at sticking to this routine give or take 15 minutes despite the kids best efforts, pulling out multiple tricks from their kit bag to delay lights out. One night however I discovered that this isn't just a whole lot of random instances, it's a planned, premeditated, ever-evolving campaign put together by the bedtime brigade themselves. I found the following hidden under 4 year old Foghorn's pillow...

Things to say to mum and dad to go to bed later

Dinner Time

Use as many of these as you can and you're sure to finish dinner 15 minutes later than normal.

  • Dinner is too hot/cold.
  • These carrots taste funny.
  • Can I go get the salt?
  • Where are the tooth picks?
  • I don't like it, can I have noodles?
  • I need to go get my drink.
  • My drink is empty.
  • Need to go to the toilet, need to go to the toilet!!!
  • ....oops, rice on the floor, I'm going to have to clean it up.

Teeth Time

  • Can I have Nurdle Time dad? (Ask dad for his iPhone for Nurdle Time whilst he's actually using his phone).
  • I can't find the toothpaste (remember to hide the toothpaste first).
  • Where's my tooth brush?
  • I can't get the tooth paste out.
  • The battery is flat in my toothbrush. (Remember to leave your toothbrush on during the day to flatten battery).
  • I can't reach the fish oil.
  • ...oops, I dropped the fish oil tablets in the wet sink.

Just Before Bed Time

  • We didn't have warm milk! (Crying whilst saying this makes it more effective).
  • I'm still hungry.
  • Can we have a Zooper Dooper?
  • Can I call Nanny to say goodnight?
  • Dad, I need that form signed for school know, that form.
  • Oh no, I forgot I have homework for tomorrow.
  • ...oops forgot to pack my school bag.
  • Do you know where my school jumper is?
  • But I haven't had enough reading time!
  • I'm only 6 pages from the end of the chapter.

In Bed

  • I can't find my sleepy toys. (Hide them and cry until mum and dad have to come in and help you find them. Down the side of the bed is the best place, as well as up your pyjama top or under your pillow).
  • Oh no, forgot my water, better go get it.
  • Oh no, water's empty.
  • Water bottle smells, needs to be washed. Can I go get a fresh one?
  • I'm too hot\cold in these pyjamas, I need to change them.
  • ...oops, forgot my pullup!
  • It's my turn to choose the music.
  • The music isn't loud enough.
  • Cry "mummy" or "daddy" once they leave the room. (When they return tell them that your leg hurts. Hopefully they will turn the light on and check your leg, get an ice/heat pack, rub some cream into it....etc)

Love Bookworm

All this and more has happened before and will definitely occur again no doubt. What concerns me is their ability at such a young age to evolve these techniques, developing remarkle new tactics. How's this for genius? 4yo Foghorn leaves toothpaste on her chin after brushing her teeth. Then as I return for the final time to say goodnight she will alert me to the fact that her face is dirty, expecting me to turn the lights on to inspect, followed by escorting her to the bathroom to wash her face. Now that's taking it to the next level!!!

What's the best bedtime delay technique your kids have used?

Last modified on Tuesday, 19 February 2013 20:52

Bucky is a proud triple dad to three girls aged eight and under (Bookworm, Foghorn and Boo). He left the full time corporate world in late 2012 and he's not sure whether he's a SAHD or a WAHD, but either way he's spenidng more time at home with his family. Once upon a time Bucky played guitar for a garage band, now he can only play nursery rhymes.

Bucky would like to be an official chocolate, beer and scotch tester - please contact him here if you can help with this.Aussie Daddy Blogger Member

You can follow Bucky on nearly every social media network known to man, but maybe start with Twitter. You can also follow his dog on Twitter if you really like.

You can give Bucky Klout for "Parenting", "Dads" or "Social Media" here (Thanks!).

Bucky is a proud Aussie Daddy Blogger.



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