With Kid C showing her stubborn side in utero (she eventually popped out to say hello ten days late) I applied myself to Q's web design business so that I could keep the business ticking over once Kid C arrived. (In my next article, how to react when the guy on the train is reading your iPhone over your shoulder ... Bugger off mate, read it at TackleNappy.com).
If someone asks me what I do I respond with "I'm a Work At Home Dad", though according to definition I'm not really sure that's 100% true.
WAHD - A work at home parent is an entrepreneur who works from home and integrates parenting into his or her business activities... - Wikipedia
Sure I work at home...I clean, I cook, I wash dishes...truth be known I actually pretend to clean, I cook more often than I used to...but dishes...yeah I do dishes [sigh]. But for the better part of five months I've applied myself to being a dad and managed to fit work tasks in around that...just. So am I a SAHD then?
SAHD - A stay-at-home dad (alternatively, stay at home father, house dad, SAHD, househusband, or house-spouse) is a father who is the main caregiver of the children and is the homemaker of the household. - Wikipedia
What a load of bollocks. Yeah I do most of that, but Q is still the dedicated loving mother she has always been, and I do find time for a little work. So bugger your definitions Wikipedia.
So what have I learnt from being a SAHD, WAHD, whatever the fcuk I am?
- Never wear good clothes around the home - Kid C started off life as a spewer…and I had a target placed firmly on my shoulder. Kid C has this uncanny ability to be able to hold her spew for that moment Quigs passes her to me. I’ve had days where I’ve changed clothes four times, no exaggeration!
"Hold on Kiddo, I'm just changing my clothes for the fifth time!"
- There’s fewer hours in the day than you expect – Mathematically between school\kinder drop off and pick-up there’s about 6 ½ hours of ‘productive time’. In reality, you have about two hours of which isn’t dedicated to cleaning, cooking, burping (that's burping the kiddo, not me)…etc. Then, my second child will need lunch, love & attention…DAY GONE!!!!
"Hold On Kiddo, Lunch is Coming."
- You can only watch half an episode of The Soprano’s whilst feeding – what feeding does give me is half an hour where I need to sit on my butt. I generally use this time to watch The Sopranos but I only manage to get through half a show. Our Foxtel IQ has about three full series ready and waiting for me.
"Hold On Tony Soprano, I'm Coming."
- There’s only so many times you can call on your family & friends to baby sit. Although, most are very receptive to looking after our 5 month old…
"Hold On Mum, I'm coming to take her back home!"
- Certain sayings get used a whole lot more – “Hold on Bub I’m coming” is used three times a day. Kid C of course wakes up at the most inconvenient time which means I can’t tend to her straight away. Then there’s another minute where she has to wait for me to get the bottle ready, then she'll have to wait whilst I change into my third pair of tracksuit pants. I’m constantly talking to her across the house and the most common line is “Hold on Bubby, I’m coming”. That inevitably results in me singing the chorus to "Hold On, I'm Coming" all day!
"Hold On, I'm Coming!"